There’s no such thing as a dumb question when you want some ideas for conversations long distance relationships. You and your partner have talked about everything already, so what’s left?
Turns out, we’ve created a list of 17 ideas for that exact scenario. So, feel free to bookmark this page next time you’re on a video call and running out of fun ways to spice up your conversation.
This post is all about conversations for long-distance relationships.
CONVERSATIONS FOR LONG
DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS:
1. What’s one piece of advice you’d give to your younger self?
We all think back on our past. Whether we have regrets or gratitude, we reflect. It’s natural and important. So, you might as well have a conversation about that with your long-distance partner and learn more about them.
Not only do you get to open up about your childhood, but you get to learn about theirs. This type of conversation allows you to reflect positively on your past without focusing too heavily on the negative stuff.
If you or your partner has had a rough childhood, you deserve to have validation, since you may never have gotten that before. However, you can have those painful feelings validated without ruminating in the negativity that doesn’t go anywhere.
That’s why this question can be so beautiful and cathartic. You can get to know each other on a deeper level and introduce meaningful conversations that may otherwise not come up.
2. What’s your favorite flower?
While talking about your favorite flower is one of the simpler topics on this list, it’s still cute. You learn something about each other that can lead to a surprise gift in the future. There’s no better feeling than getting flowers from your long distance partner.
Imagine that you can make your partner’s life better by sending them their favorite flower. We don’t always think to ask these types of long-distance relationship questions because they seem too obvious or simple.
But, sometimes the most obvious questions can demonstrate to your partner how much you care. Plus, you can also talk about why your favorite flower is your favorite flower. Maybe you have a core memory attached or it tells your partner something about your personality.
3. What do you do to take care of your mental health?
Mental health is at the core of everyone’s lives even if they don’t acknowledge that. So, ask your partner how they manage their mental health. It’s okay if you or your partner don’t know how to take care of your mental health or answer this question.
Most of us are not explicitly taught to take care of ourselves. If we are, we don’t realize that’s what we’re doing. Be kind to yourselves with this question and remember that taking time to learn how to answer this question is okay.
This is one of the questions on this list that will help you create future plans to take better care of yourselves and improve your relationship.
4. What would you put in a time capsule?
This is your sign to bury a time capsule somewhere. We may be kidding a little, but this question does remind you to embrace your inner child. Time capsules are probably difficult for most of us, especially if you don’t have a yard or some other place to bury a time capsule.
However, it’s still fun to think about. It makes you wonder what could be significant enough that you want to dig it back up in however many years you choose. Maybe it’s a meaningful memory or something you value so much that you’d bury it to avoid losing it.
Whatever it may be, enjoy talking about it because it’s one of the best questions to ask your partner when you want to learn something new about them.
5. Tell me about your top three favorite online games.
Asking about online games can go one of three ways. Maybe your partner doesn’t play online games. Or maybe your partner plays a few and you just got some cute date ideas even if the conversation is short-lived.
Lastly, you could end up hitting a gold mine in which your partner talks forever about something that truly interests them. In this case, you get to watch your partner talk about all of the intricacies of their favorite games and what makes them so good.
Whether your favorite game is one you played in childhood or one that you’ve come to love because of the storyline, you’re sure to come away from this conversation with a few date ideas and a lot of new information about your partner.
6. What’s your dream job and how long has it been your dream job?
Understandably, questions about dream jobs can be as sad as they are uplifting. We may struggle to talk about the job that we wish we had and that we don’t. It’s also okay to not have a dream job and wish that you didn’t have to work to pay the bills.
Some of us wish we could create art, travel, or experience the world in a way that doesn’t pay. When you talk about your dream job, it may also be worth talking about how long you’ve wanted that job and where that desire came from.
So much of the joy and love in our lives comes from the “why.” Our meaning can create so many interesting conversations that bring long-distance couples together that much more.
7. What are your top three favorite colors?
Like the question about favorite flowers, let’s talk about favorite colors too. You can talk about one but don’t feel like you have to limit yourself.
You and your partner can show each other the exact hues that are the most beautiful to you, especially if you like to do video calls with each other. Dive into your favorite colors and consider spending time creating a mood board for each of you based on your favorite colors.
That way, you have created an activity to do together while you find aesthetically pleasing images based on your respective favorite colors.
Don’t underestimate the power of video chat to instantly elevate the feeling of closeness to make your long-distance relationship work that much more beautifully.
8. What’s one core childhood memory that has shaped you the most?
It’s difficult to choose one memory from your own experience that has shaped you. We get it. But, it’s one of the most meaningful long-distance relationship conversation topics no matter how scary or intimidating it is to answer.
Long-distance couples don’t always bring up the heavy stuff on phone calls because they want to enjoy the time they get with their partner. This is your opportunity to take a second, think, and respond.
The fun part about this question is that the answer might change over time. So, keep talking about it, and don’t feel like you’re stuck with one answer. Keep learning about yourself just like you keep learning about your partner.
9. Name one famous person you’d love to meet.
Sprinkle in some fun questions alongside the hard-hitting ones. Talking about the famous person you’d love to meet is the perfect way to do that. You get to gush about someone famous and explain to your partner why you’d like to meet them.
Maybe you go over the reasons why they’re famous and how you connect to their work, assuming it’s an artist or actor. You can even go so far as to imagine what you’d do with them if you met them.
The fun part is imagining you get to ask them about a movie or song they’ve made or walking around town and learning about their real personality. Have fun and remember that the sky is the limit on this one.
10. What do you wish your daily life looked like?
Questions like this can often make you sad. While we prefer to approach the world with gratitude since it’s better for our mental health, we also have to acknowledge that no relationship is complete, especially for long distance couples, without the stuff that hurts too.
You have to talk about the things that weigh you down. More importantly, you have to feel comfortable to tell your partner that even if it weighs them down a little too. When we talk about wishes, it’s easy to feel like our lives have nothing to do with the ones we wish we had.
We may be burnt out, getting no sleep, or bored. Then, we think of a life where we can decide when we work, if we work, how much time we devote to our favorite hobbies, and more.
Talk about the stuff that hurts because you have to learn how to navigate it as a couple when it happens unexpectedly.
11. What are three of your personal goals?
While the purpose of this blog is to give you ideas for conversations for long distance relationships, we still want to do justice to the term “goals.” Strong goals can look different to different people.
For some, designing a goal that is specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and timely is one of the best ways to actually achieve it. For others, the loftier the goal and the more relevant it is to their goal life, the more motivated they are to make it happen.
You and your partner can decide what works best for you. Regardless, it makes for great conversation. You may end up doing nothing with these goals or spend time away from each other to discern what exactly you want for your goal.
Still, this question can jumpstart a fun conversation that gets you excited for the next time you and your partner have one of your serious talks.
12. Let’s listen to your favorite song together.
There’s something magical about listening to a song that you absolutely love. No matter what makes you love it, from the rhythm to the artist to the memories, you get to share that with your partner.
Furthermore, this is one of the long distance relationship questions from this list that keeps on giving. So, on top of a beautiful bonding activity, you also get to talk about the song. You can actively explain what makes you love it so that they understand you just a bit more.
This also happens to be one of the most effective ways to make you and your partner instantly happy and joyful even if the songs you listen to are not.
13. Tell me a story about your favorite family tradition.
Family traditions are complicated. Some we hate and others we miss as we grow up and stop experiencing them as frequently. That’s why this question is so fun.
We can talk through childhood memories that bring us joy and remind us of the great way that we can feel connected to family and the people around us through tradition.
Plus, it gives a sense of what kind of traditions we will pass on to the family you create with your partner. While there are no “right questions,” per se, there are some that we can truly enjoy answering and this is one of them.
14. Share your favorite book with me.
Tell your partner about your favorite book. You can even share a bit of it with them to show them what makes it so good. It can be fun to re-discover one of your favorites in a different way by explaining it to someone you love.
If you’re not much of a reader, you can feel free to talk about a movie or show instead. The goal is to share a part of yourself with your partner, who otherwise may never find out about that part.
Explain the context behind it and at what point of your life you found it to make it so meaningful. Talk about your experience with it because your partner is guaranteed to love hearing you talk about something you love.
15. How do you like to spend quality time with others?
Talk about quality time all the time. So many arguments in long-distance romance come from people not realizing that they define things differently than their partner.
You may be okay to talk over the phone for a few minutes and call that quality time. But, your partner may have a different way of fulfilling their emotional needs.
We haven’t discussed the effect of physical distance on long-distance relationships very often in this blog post. (You can find it more in-depth in other posts). But we do want to acknowledge it.
Quality time is intensely personal, so talk about what feels good to you when it comes to spending time with your partner.
16. What does a strong emotional connection look like to you?
Emotional vulnerability is hard. Most people don’t grow up with people who taught them about it. So, some people may say they have no clue what their emotional needs are or what a strong emotional connection looks like.
Think of this question as a way to open the door to that conversation. You need to talk about emotional needs with your partner, but you don’t have to say anything like “my emotional needs are…” to get there.
This is another one of those long-distance conversation topics where you and your partner will need to be kind to yourself with some good open communication and good, old-fashioned curiosity.
17. What’s on your bucket list?
Who better to know what you want to do before you die than the person you want to spend your life with?
Even if something happens and you two don’t spend your lives together, it doesn’t hurt to know what matters so much to your partner that they want it on the list of things they do before they die.
Not all of us plan on actually doing the things we say we want to do, but how fun would it be if planned it for them?
