This post is all about how to support someone with anxiety and depression.
Now that 1 in 8 people around the world have a mental illness, it’s more important than ever to show up for the people around us. Chances are you know someone with mental illness and you have a mental illness yourself.
The hardest part about loving someone with a mental illness is understanding how you can help them. With so much of their struggles being internal and within their own mind, it feels impossible to make a difference from the outside.
But, with the help of these steps, you can make a difference in the life of someone with mental illness by learning how to meet them where they’re at in their journey.
This post is all about how to support someone with anxiety and depression.
MEANINGFUL STEPS:
1. Start a conversation
When you want to help someone who is struggling with a mental illness, the first thing you should do is start a conversation. The moment you decide to help someone with anxiety or depression, you need to leave behind your expectations.
This is about you being present for your loved one in a way that is meaningful for them. In other words, you might not realize how they need you to be in their life.
So, start a conversation, but make sure you’re have the right intentions going in. It’s okay to accept that you’re not in the right place to give your loved one the unbiased help they need.
2. Build the habit of asking them how they are
“How are you” goes beyond the “good, how are you?” that typically follows. We’re used to this in casual conversation. However, when you decide to support a friend with mental illness, you’ll want to check in and dive deeper.
Ask how your friend is and encourage them to be as honest as possible. Keep in mind that this honesty probably won’t come naturally to them because they’re not used to people actually wanting to know the answer to the question.
Start slow and build the habit so that, overtime, they learn you care about their answer and they can truly be honest with you.
3. Approach them in their love language
When you start a conversation with your loved one, encourage them share how you can best show up for them. A big part of this is what their love language is.
What appeals to you, in terms of someone showing you support, might not appeal to them and might inadvertently cause them to retreat into their mental illness. While this can be frustrating, it’s part of the process of learning how help people with mental illness.
So, ask them how they want your support even if it’s just as a friend or loved one in their life not always focused on improving their mental illness.
4. Ask them if they want solutions or space to vent
The more you establish yourself as permanent support in their life, the more they’ll open up to you and be real with you. When you’re focused on helping someone through their mental illness, you want to focus on their needs.
When they’re venting, do they want to solve the problem causing them stress or anxiety or do they just want someone to listen without judging and adding input?
Much of the time, we want someone to listen to us and they end up giving us advice that we didn’t ask for. The best way to resolve this is by remembering that advice comes from the desire to help, but it may not be the way this person needs help.
5. Discuss tools for coping with mental illness
People with mental illness can get stuck in their intrusive thoughts and these thought loops the feel inescapable. So, it’s always a good idea to encourage them to try new coping mechanisms.
While they might already have heard of all them and tried them, it’s still useful to introduce or re-introduce them because they’ll hear it from someone other than themselves.
Breaking that thought loop and overpowering those intrusive thoughts, even for a moment, is powerful and could be the moment they look into a tool that actually works.
6. Commit time to body-doubling
Along with discussing coping mechanisms with them, you can encourage them to put them into practice by trying it with them. Carve out some time to meditate, journal together (with separate journals), do yoga, or try another tool out.
Odds are they’ll do it with you because you’re asking them to. They might realize how much they like it simply by giving it a try for the first time.
Body-doubling is also a great tool for helping them around the house. If they want someone to keep them accountable to folding clothes or cleaning, you can be their go-to for getting that done.
7. Develop a journaling practice for yourself
Outside of the time you’re helping your friend or loved one, you need to prioritize your own mental health—as always. Whether you have a mental illness or not, this process can take a toll.
You’re engaging in a difficult journey and you deserve to give yourself credit for that. But, you also need to actively take care of yourself and learn. Not only does caring for your mental health allow you help others, but it can help you empathize with your friend more effectively.