When your phone calls start to get repetitive and a little boring, change it up. Long distance couples have the unique challenge of communicating in new, fun ways that keep the magic alive.
Other couples struggle with this too, but they have the luxury of sitting next to the other person at the end of the day when they’re watching shows together.
That’s why we’ve compiled 25 LDR questions that will open up great conversations and help you spend quality time with your partner.
This post is all about long distance relationship questions.
LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONS:
1. What is your favorite song?
Ask your partner about their favorite song. This opens up room for romance and connection. You can get to know your partner better, listen to their favorite song live on the phone, and reflect on how it makes you feel.
You can ask them what they like about the song and if there’s a special memory attached that makes it more special for them. Just be careful about the types of special memories you will access, especially if it involves exes of theirs.
2. What’s one thing we can do to have a better relationship?
It’s an open-ended question when you ask your partner what you two can improve within your relationship. It’s designed to be open-ended. You want to give your partner the space to make suggestions they may, otherwise, not have the opportunity to voice.
However, it can also be unfair if your partner feels like they’re put on the spot. So, feel it out based on how well you know your partner and consider asking the question repeatedly every now and then.
You can ask them this question whenever you feel like you want to check in and you can offer your own answer as a way of opening the conversation up without the awkwardness or discomfort.
3. Share one of your favorite childhood memories with me.
For most of us, there’s one childhood memory that brings us nothing but joy. It’s, of course, true that there are things in our childhood that we don’t want to reminisce about or bring up.
So, approach this question with the knowledge that your partner may have trauma in their childhood that they don’t want to talk about.
But, you can also approach this with the joy of your own childhood memories. You can get specific or stay general by asking about a favorite holiday from when your partner was younger.
4. What do you think of when you imagine good communication?
Many of us don’t learn good communication when we’re young. We may not even talk about honest communication in our families or see healthy communication demonstrated.
So, when you think about asking this question of your partner or when your partner thinks of answering this question, it may stump you two. That doesn’t mean there’s anything inherently wrong with either of you or that your religion is doomed.
It does mean that you have a great opportunity to learn together and grow as a couple outside of the family systems you grew up in.
Be patient with yourselves and start by asking what feels good. Get excited about the possibilities that open up when you start actively considering what good communication looks like and feels like to the two of you.
5. What’s the best gift someone could give you?
Asking your partner about the best gift to give them is a bit of a freebie, if we’re being honest. But, that doesn’t make the question any less important or valid. There’s nothing wrong with asking your partner what they want to get from you and the people around them.
Most of us grow up without ever getting the gifts we want because people don’t ask this question. So, forget about social norms and get your partner the gift they want.
6. What’s your favorite flower?
Keep this question in your back pocket, so you can randomly surprise your partner with their favorite flower when you get home from an outing.
Cut the stems and place them in a vase for them when you get home for them to enjoy without the hassle or upkeep that flowers can require.
7. What are five goals you have for next year?
Talk through the image you have of your next year. When they think of themselves a year from now, what’s different? Most of us see ourselves with something accomplished or something different about ourselves and we don’t acknowledge the steps it takes to make that happen.
8. If you could relive one day of your life, which would it be and why?
Have fun with this question, but also feel free to get emotional. We’re often asked what’s one thing we would change.
And, yet, it’s so much more beautiful to think of reliving a beautiful moment from our past. It also makes us consider our values and what could be so worth it that we’d spend this question on that moment.
9. Tell me about your favorite amusement park.
Depending on whether you grew up in the same as your partner, this may be an interesting question to ask.
You can learn a lot about someone and the town they grew up in by asking about the activities they did when they were a kid. Amusement parks are no different and come in such variety that they take on the character of whatever culture surrounds them.
10. What’s one thing you want to accomplish in the near future?
The near future can be defined in any way that feels right for you. Let your partner take this in any direction that feels good.
They may have a goal in mind that they’ve been considering, and it may be as simple as taking out the trash. Or they may want to apply for graduate school, which can open up new, fun conversations between you two.
11. What are your go-to coping mechanisms for getting through hard times?
Whenever you talk about mental health with your partner, you always need to approach questions with grace. Many of us are actively working and dismantling the stigma around mental health.
Still, we can’t deny that it has affected the way people interact with topics around mental health. So, when you ask about coping mechanisms, be prepared for awkwardness, uncertainty, and the need for time.
12. If you could put one thing into a time capsule, what would it be?
Time capsules are inherently fun. They can be incredibly silly or intensely meaningful and almost no one has participated in one. That’s what makes this question so fun and what opens up the opportunity for fun connection on a deeper level, even if that level is laughter and joy.
13. How would you rate our emotional connection on a scale of one to ten?
Some questions on this list are scary and this one is no exception. It’s scary to ask a question that opens you up to criticism.
What’s worse is, if your partner knows you don’t like criticism or react well to it, they may not be honest. That’s the last thing you want. So, when asking about the quality of your emotional connection, work on creating a safe space for these long-distance relationship questions.
14. What’s your dream job?
While none of us would choose to work if we didn’t have to, it’s nice to think about the job we wouldn’t mind having. This question can get emotional, especially if you or your partner don’t have the dream job. It can feel defeating and scary, but it’s still a good conversation to have.
15. What’s your relationship like with social media?
We hear social media as a buzzword a lot these days. It’s the new evil that none of us are supposed to be involved with. We all scroll, and we all feel bad.
But, none of that really changes how it affects us and none of that really helps us actually analyze our relationship with social media. That’s why a question like this can be so beautiful.
16. What’s one thing you’ve wanted to do for your entire life that you haven’t done yet?
Think of this as a chance to plan a future date. Sure, some of the answers are not going to be date material. But, it’s still a fun exercise that can get you both thinking aspirationally and you can get excited.
It’s important to nourish healthy, happy emotions as a couple. This is especially true when you are long distance and often struggle to think positively.
17. When you want a good laugh, what do you do?
Maybe they watch their favorite reel, their favorite show, or their favorite comedian. Whatever it is, hopefully, you can watch it and get a laugh.
There’s no shame in having a different sense of humor than your partner, which is what makes this question so fun. You can learn about a part of your partner that you may otherwise not really connect to.
18. What are your personal goals?
Talk about goals. This is a purposefully open question. It can refer to goals that you have for when you retire. Or you can talk about the goals that you have right now that you want to accomplish within the next few years.
It can be goals you’ve had since you were a kid that you may never actually achieve. The fun part about goals is that they give you a direction to go in without doing much harm if you don’t get to the end.
19. What’s one thing I should know about your day-to-day life?
Long-distance couples struggle to be in each other’s lives as much as couples who are not long distance. As painful as it is to admit, you have to be honest with yourself and with your long-distance partner.
You have to have meaningful conversations about the distance between you, and that means acknowledging that you may miss out on the small things about each other’s daily lives.
20. What’s one piece of advice you would tell your younger self?
Even though this question is stereotypical and super common, it’s also super fun to answer. This is an important question that opens up great conversations about what you’ve learned and how you’ve changed as a person since you were younger.
Plus, you may not have known your long distance boyfriend or girlfriend when they were younger, and it’s nice to know how they think about themselves now and how that has changed.
21. What’s the best movie you’ve ever seen and what do you like about it?
It can be hard to choose a favorite movie, so go easy on your partner. Let them choose three if they can’t decide or let them choose the one that comes to them the fastest.
Then, ask them why they like it. This is often the fun part because you learn about your partner and get to explore a side to them that doesn’t naturally come up in conversation.
22. How do you deal with the physical distance between us?
Address the elephant in the room. No matter how many times you’ve talked about being a long-distance couple, it’s still important to acknowledge and talk through coping strategies.
Ask them how they deal with being so far away from you and take notes because it might help you deal with the distance better.
23. What’s the biggest challenge you’ve ever faced and how did you overcome it?
While this might sound like a question straight out of an interview, it’s worth asking in a judgment-free, loving context.
Instead of answering in a performative way, your partner gets the chance to answer honestly. You’ll get to know them better and you may learn new things about them by asking meaningful questions like this.
24. If you had to eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
It’s always the right time for a silly question. This type of question, which is somehow both high stakes and low stakes, gives you the chance to learn some real information about your partner that you can use in the future for fun surprises.
Plus, you get to have so much fun while you learn about them. And they get to make the hard hypothetical decision on which food they’re forever stuck with.
25. What’s your favorite thing to do when it’s raining?
End with an interesting question they’ve probably never been asked before. This is one of the most fun long distance relationship questions because you don’t expect it and you start to feel like you’re cozying up to your partner int he middle of a rainstorm.
Yes, this is one of the more fun questions, but it’s also just an excuse to build a strong connection and enjoy the process.