You’re dealing with a lot and you are brave for doing long-distance. There are a lot of benefits to being in a long-distance relationship, even if it hurts right now and you’re feeling long distance relationship sad.
Just think about the fact that you have someone who loves you so much they’re willing to be in a different state, country, or continent and still be with you. Regardless, it’s hard and there’s no sugarcoating that. The good news is that the more you miss them, the more you love them.
Your long distance sadness, depression, and anxiety come from a place of deep love. So, take care of yourself and read through these 21 tips on dealing with being long distance relationship sad.
This post is all about being long distance relationship sad.
LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP SADNESS:
1. Spend lots of time with your best friend.
Your partner can’t fulfill all your needs. Instead, this is the time to rely on the friends in your life that make every day better. Find the people who make you laugh and cultivate those relationships.
When you’re missing out on quality time with your partner, let your friends fill in for that. Remember that you have a beautiful, emotional connection with your best friend. This can exist alongside the beautiful, long distance love you have with your partner.
2. Pay attention to your body language when you’re feeling anxious or sad.
When you notice yourself feeling anxious or sad, pay attention to the way you posture. Oftentimes, our bodies reflect the way we’re feeling on the inside and even make those feelings harder to escape.
For instance, when you feel like you can’t breathe or you have so many anxious thoughts that you get overwhelmed, think about how your body is supporting you in releasing those thoughts.
Straighten your back, open up your chest, and take a deep breath. Your body will often store the tension you’re feeling internally and work against you without you even knowing it.
3. Have fun with creating care packages.
Make care packages a project. Go to your local crafts store and make some fun art projects with a personal touch or go to their favorite store and grab some stuff to remind them of you.
No matter who you’re buying for, they’ll always appreciate a candle and plant to liven up their living space. Plus, they get to light a cute candle and water a cute plant, thinking of you the entire time.
Let care packages be a way for you to channel your feeling of sadness and any feelings of loneliness into a thoughtful gift that will make their day when they get it.
4. Set up a virtual dinner date.
Just because you two can’t go to dinner at a yummy restaurant doesn’t mean you can’t foster that deep connection between you in different ways.
Plan a night when the two of you are either eating the same meal (this will help you connect on a deeper level if possible!) or eating at the same time. Use this as time to talk and enjoy each other’s company or spice it up by pretending it’s the first time you’re meeting all over again.
However you go about it, you two will walk away from the date feeling your love strengthened in only the way long-distance couples can understand.
5. Work on effective communication with your partner.
The single most important thing you and our long-distance partner need to work on is communication. When you two are separated by land, possibly bodies of water, and time zones, you need to be able to talk stuff out.
Clearly, you two need to fight (and fight fair), but you also need to find effective ways of being open with each other.
If you hide something from your partner, they have no way of knowing because, for the time being, you and your partner are dealing with a lack of physical intimacy. They can’t feel the stress through the phone, even if they can sense it through your voice.
Keep your romantic relationship on the right track by being open about your struggles, both personal issues and stuff in the relationship, so that they can help you through it.
6. Create a rule for how often you need to reach out to each other.
Set boundaries with each other that tell each of you how the other person wants to be loved. Maybe you are okay with texting every day and video chatting every couple of days. But, your partner wants to video chat every day for an hour with very few exceptions.
Respect their boundaries and expect them to respect yours because you two are putting in the long-distance relationship work out of love.
This will be even harder if one of you lives outside of the United States, but it’s the right way to maintain and put work into your intimate connection.
7. Play online games with your partner.
Find games that the two of you love and the two of you can play at the same time wherever you are. Not only is this a fun, different way of interacting, but it’s also another way to make special time for each other that helps you think less about your physical separation.
Take time to do a little research to find a game that you both will love, get into, and use as time to focus on your relationship and time in a new way.
8. Reminisce on past experiences when you’re missing them.
Think about the last time you saw them and the joy of meeting them in person. If you’ve never met them in person, focus on one of your most recent face interactions with them.
Remember that these extended periods when you don’t see your partner are all leading up to the day when you two can have physical contact again. You get to use this time to strengthen your relationship, which is the hardest part, and focus on some personal growth in the meantime.
9. Schedule video calls to see their face.
Even if you two don’t get to experience physical touch right now, you can still see their face. You get to hear them laugh and watch them smile. Make it happen by scheduling video calls into the calendar.
Figure out how much time works for each of you and what to do when you need a little extra time with them because you’re noticing symptoms of mild depression. Most importantly, remember that you are in a relationship with this person.
Yes, your romantic partner has a life just like you and they might be busy. But, you never have to experience long-distance relationship depression to get more time with your partner.
10. Start phone calls with them when they can’t do a video call.
There are some days you’re not going to feel up to being on a video call. The same goes for your partner and, in those cases, you two should be able to give yourselves some grace.
Call each other without video, so you can still make that connection without having to make face-to-face contact. Sometimes, sitting on the phone while you lay in bed is the best way to keep your relationship healthy for such a long time.
Even though you two love each other, you’ll have days when all you have to give them is your phone number until your next long-distance relationship visit.
11. Talk to a family member about feeling sad or depressed.
Reach out to a family member about your feelings. You’re not alone in this and you deserve to have more than one type of relationship that supports you. Turn to the people who care about you and who live near you.
You need to be open with your partner, but you should also connect to other people in various ways without feeling like you’re betraying your partner. Something as small as a hug might activate that cuddle hormone that you wish your partner was there to share with you.
12. Get creative when trying to maintain a physical connection.
Nowadays, there are tons of ways to stay connected with your partner even if they live on a different continent than you.
While you can tell them how much you miss them and reminisce on the times when you could hug them in person, you can also maintain your physical connection can look like trading fun texts or playing with certain toys.
Be creative and find comfortable ways of connecting that don’t limit your relationship to what is possible over the phone.
13. Watch out for your mental health condition.
Stay vigilant of how you’re feeling and look for signs of clinical depression. It’s not silly to say that missing your partner can cause you to feel depressed.
We need human connections and, even if we have someone we love out there in the world who loves us, it can still be a challenge to constantly feel that in our bodies. The best thing you can do is watch out for yourself while making sure that you stay present in your other relationships.
Your instinct will probably be to cancel on your friends for personal reasons and stay cooped up in your home. But, the only way your relationship will stand the tests of time is if you take care of yourself and go out of your way to hang out with people.
14. Make a list of the positive aspects of your relationship.
As easy as it is to focus on the pain of parting, you also have to take time to remember the good things in your relationship. Remind yourself of why you’re waiting for the real thing and why this relationship is worth putting a lot of time into.
Get out your Notes app or a notebook and pen. Sit down and write the list of reasons you’re in this relationship for the long haul. Talk about why you love your partner and every positive memory that comes to mind.
15. Discuss an end date for the amount of time you’ll be separated.
The best thing for long-distance is to know that there’s an end goal. It’s important to talk about the next time you two will see each other and when you see the long-distance part of your relationship ending.
It might be painful to realize that one or both of you will leave your homes and families. That’s why you have this conversation to make sure you consider all of the most important factors.
16. Identify and challenge deep negative beliefs.
The moment you start letting those negative beliefs into your thoughts, identify them. Acknowledge that you’re having doubts or trust issues and call that out for yourself. The only thing that can go wrong with negative thought patterns is trying to ignore them.
They’re normal and you’re brave every second that you stay in a long distance relationship because they’re hard. They take a toll on you and your relationship while making both you and your relationship stronger if you stay together.
17. Remember that you can always get professional help.
Your partner and your family love you. They want to know what’s going on with you and they want to be the right help, but they’re either not mental health professionals or they are not your mental health professional.
So, remember that getting professional help is always an option. You’re going through a lot of you shouldn’t have to do it alone.
You can be the depressed person who isolates themselves because they don’t want to be a burden. But you know, deep down, that everyone wants to see you thrive. So, consider seeing a marriage and family therapist or social worker.
18. Plan surprise visits to see your partner.
Put your sad, nervous energy into planning a visit to your partner. Be sneaky in making sure they’ll be available and check into the various factors that will make this a flawless surprise.
It doesn’t have to go perfectly for it to be perfect. As long as you show up with a hug, your partner will never be more happy than the moment they see you unexpectedly.
19. Watch TV shows together with live reactions.
Start them at the same time and react live. Laugh with each other, cry with each other, and complain with each other like every couple gets to do when they’re sitting in the same room. This is the type of bonding that you get to replicate no matter how far away you are.
This is a great way to stay connected while changing up the form of your connection. Activities like this remind you why such relationships like this are worth it and why you choose your partner every day.
20. Have an honest conversation with your partner about your relationship.
It’s hard to be honest when you can’t be in person because there’s room for disconnect. Even when you’re talking over video chat, they can distance themselves in ways that are much harder than in-person.
But, it’s the right thing to do for your relationship and it should be the first thing you do when either of you starts to struggle with the distance.
There’s a difference between getting sad over how long it will take to see your person again versus getting frustrated that your person isn’t there. As long as there is love, you won’t need any good luck for this conversation.
The problem arises when one of you stops choosing the other and that’s why an open, honest conversation can clarify where you two are in your relationship.
21. Let yourself feel the sadness and anxiety.
Sometimes, you just can’t stop missing them. No matter how much you talk to them or scroll through old pictures together or read through sad long distance relationship quotes, you’re going to be sad and experience that long distance relationship depression.
First of all, that’s okay. Accept that you’re not going to feel your best all the time and the absence of your partner will get to you. Use this as an opportunity to remember the past year. Think of the beautiful things you’ve experienced together in creative ways.
It’s the little things that will make this relationship absolutely worth it and it’s important to remember the positive impact of your relationship on your life.