This post is all about self therapy questions.
While therapy is often the most preferable option when we’re talking about improving mental health, it’s also expensive. So, we can’t talk about going to therapy without talking about options that will give you the help you need right.
We can’t replace the professional training therapists have gone through with our own questioning, but we can make progress. Instead of waiting to feel better, we’re going to use these twenty-five questions to start conversations with ourselves.
Think of each of these questions as journal prompts that will give you actionable steps to improving your mental health. This post is going to guide you through questions you can ask yourself to guide your mental journey.
This post is all about self therapy questions.
DEEP SELF THERAPY QUESTIONS:
1. What are my biggest fears and how can I work to overcome them?
Fears can include anything from spiders to heights, but it’s also important to dig deep with this question and think about your deepest fears. For some people, those fears are losing the people they love, being alone, or dying young.
Whatever your fears look like for you, you want to focus on how they limit you. You can also think of these fears as limiting beliefs like “I’m not enough” or “I can’t do X.”
2. What are my core values and am I living my life in accordance with them?
Values define what makes you you. Whether or not you’ve thought about them, you’ve lived by them or learned to live by them. Think of the compass you’ve unconsciously followed throughout your life.
Your “compass” is the thing that’s made your decisions for you before you actually made the decision on your own.
Think of your values as the things that affect how you answer questions like “if you were stranded on an island, what three items would you take?” or “do you save one person you know or five you don’t?”
When mapping out your values, it’s important to remember there are no good or bad values when thinking about self therapy questions.
3. What are the biggest stressors in my life and how can I manage them more effectively?
Identify the sources of stress in your life from work to family to school and list them out. They’ll overwhelm you when you look at them in this form, but listing them will give you the chance to attack them one by one.
By attack, we mean that you develop a plan to work through them. Think about how you can change the way stressors impact your life, whether that means you limit them, prevent them, or learn coping mechanisms when they can’t be helped.
4. Am I taking care of myself physically, emotionally, and mentally? If not, what steps can I take to improve my self-care?
Self care often involves far more frustrating and difficult tasks than we’re led to believe. While we can enjoy our fair share of bubble baths and spa days, we also have to recognize how important the more difficult tasks of upkeep are.
Think about managing your finances, meditation, journaling, planning schoolwork, and any other tasks that benefit you, especially those you don’t want to do. This is the way you’re going to get the most benefit out of these self therapy questions.
5. What are my personal strengths and how can I use them to improve my life?
You can start by writing down everything you like about yourself. From there, look through the list you’ve written down and identify strengths.
So much of therapy is difficult and painful no matter how transformative it is because you have to become aware of the pain you’ve gotten used to.
That’s why identifying your strengths is so beneficial. For once, you get to think about how your natural strengths and how you can use them to make a better life for yourself.
6. How can I cultivate more self-compassion and self-love?
Self-compassion and self-love come from accepting that you can respond to the world around you in ways that upset the people around you while also being fair.
To have compassion for yourself, you’re giving yourself the chance to make the wrong choices, the best of the worst choices, and the best choices for you even if they don’t make anyone else happy.
In the same way, self-love requires you to give yourself space to be less than the perfect image you have of yourself.
7. How can I set healthy boundaries with others in my life?
Boundaries simply mean you make the relationships in your life work the best they possibly can for you and the people you care about.
This means that you are communicating your needs to the people in your life and letting them know that you want them to stay in your life so badly, you’re willing to communicate that to them.
So, think about the places in your relationship that leave you feeling drained or uncomfortable. Have a conversation about them.
Boundaries can look different for different people, so you can create hard, fast rules for dealbreakers or you can talk it out with the people in your life to make your needs known.
8. What is my relationship with money and how can I improve it?
Money matters when we’re talking about mental health. In fact, there’s no way to talk about improving your mental health without addressing money. So, this is a good time to think about how you manage your money and how you don’t.
There’s no shame here, so be honest with yourself. Think about what you’re doing to make sure your money is working for you: are you budgeting?
Are you checking your credit card statements? Do you make enough money to cover your current expenses (use the last month as an example)? Use questions like these to figure out how your money is working for you (is it helping you accomplish what you want?) and how to make it better work for you.
9. How can I practice gratitude and appreciate the good things in my life?
Gratitude can start small. When you’re not used to finding the things in your day, no matter how sucky it was, you can start by going over what happened during your day.
Once you begin taking of your day-to-day, you can start asking yourself what you’re noticing and whether it’s negative or positive. From there, you’ll build a habit of noticing how you look at your day and you can start working to think about three positives.
From there, the gratitude develops naturally.
10. What are my goals for the future and what steps can I take to achieve them?
Think about where you see yourself in five or ten years. Consider where you are, who you have around you, where you live, and every detail about your future life. The goal is to imagine the life you want and create goals to get you there.
The loftier and less achievable these goals are, the better they will be. The part of this question you can’t ignore are the steps to get there. When you have lofty, unattainable goals, you want to start with small steps that get bigger and more challenging with time.
You might even consider creating milestones along the way that earn you a gift.
11. How can I improve my communication skills with others?
Along with boundaries, we should be equally concerned with how good of friends we’re being to others. So, in the effort of putting as much effort into relationships as we expect others to put in, we also need to communicate.
Boundaries are one aspect of communication, but so is reaching out and prioritizing the people you care about. Initiate conversations with friends and family, plan time to include them in your life, and be honest with them about any issues you have with the relationship.
12. What is my relationship with food and how can I make more effective choices?
There are lots of conflicting ways to establish a healthy relationship with food. Focus on what works best for you with the only stipulation that you work on keeping guilt out of food.
Society has taught us women and femmes that our physical appearance determines our worth, which is wrong in so many ways. That extends to food and has inevitably shaped the way we approach it.
This starts by thinking about what a good relationship with food looks like for you and how to focus it on giving your body the fuel it needs to support you.
13. What activities bring me joy and how can I incorporate more of them into my life?
Find joy anywhere, no matter how big or small. Consider when you felt joy and what caused your joy, whether that’s something as small as watching your favorite show with your significant other or staying in for a night.
It could be that delicious meal you tried yesterday. Whatever those moments are, take notice and consider how you can involve more of them into your life.
14. How can I cultivate more mindfulness and live in the present moment?
Mindfulness can relate to every aspect of your life. It essentially means that you are aware of the moment you’re in and the decisions you make in the moment.
This can be mindfulness while you’re eating, meaning you consider how content you are with what you’re eating, or mindfulness while you exercise, so you think about how exercise makes your body feel.
Anytime you are present in the moment, you are acting mindfully instead of just going through the motions.
15. What past experiences or traumas am I holding onto and how can I let them go?
Unpacking trauma takes years and it’s certainly nothing you need to rush into because you can be retraumatized. But, it’s good to be aware of the way trauma affects the life you live and how it limits you. That’s the first step to working around your trauma, so take your time.
The whole point of progressing your mental health journey is to feel better and develop the tools to live the kind of life you want. So, tackle this question over time and only as you’re ready.
16. How can I manage my emotions in a healthy way?
This question is all about coping mechanisms. Think about how you can cope with your emotions while also processing them. Coping with your emotions and managing your emotions is different than processing them.
So, make sure that, as you consider how to work with your emotions, you don’t shut them down and repress them. Dig deep and consider how you deal with your emotions and whether that’s beneficial to you.