This post is all about answering the question what should a good relationship feel like.
Relationship anxiety is real. And it’s confusing. It can make a good relationship seem like it’s doomed or, worse, that it’s not healthy when it is.
Regardless, it’s hard to know when a relationship really isn’t healthy or if it just takes more work than you realized.
These fifteen answers to the question what should a good relationship feel like will help you figure out what might missing from you relationship and how to improve it. If you are in abusive relationships, this content may not apply to you. Please find alternative help here.
This post is all about answering the question what should a good relationship feel like.
You can trust your partner. They give you confidence in their honesty and loyalty. While your partner is not entirely responsible for gaining your trust, your relationship needs to be a safe space where you both feel confident.
No matter what happens between you and your partner, you should always be able to rely on them. Relying on your partner can look like open communication, in which you both communicate problems and struggles.
It can also look like leaving an argument knowing you will work through it, even if that means breaking up eventually. You should be able to count on your partner to be honest with you, loyal, and committed. When any of that changes, they need to be open.
You and your partner will always find something to disagree on. It’s normal and important to have different opinions on the best pizza toppings, career choice, and hobbies.
And you have to respect those differences. Clearly, there are some issues, like sexism, racism, and homophobia that aren’t up for discussion. But, when you have the same values with differing opinions that make you separate individuals, that’s how it’s supposed to be.
Make sure that you feel valued by your partner and you value your partner in the same way. This might mean drawing boundaries around conversations or setting clear expectations with your partner.
Talk to your partner. Be open and honest. If you don’t feel like you can be open and honest with your partner, you can reflect on why. It could be that your relationship isn’t safe enough for you to speak or you’re bringing childhood experiences into your new relationship.
No matter what, you should feel comfortable sharing anything and everything with your partner. At the end of the day, you two are on the same team and teams only work when everyone understands what’s going on without judgment.
Not only do you want to respect your partner, but you want to support them. Encourage them to pursue their passion, develop hobbies, and explore their individuality.
The longer you are in a relationship with someone, the easier it is to forget that you are your own person. It’s totally fine to rely on your partner for a lot of your needs, but it’s equally important to remember that they don’t fulfill all of them.
Think about the ways in which you can show your partner you’re there for them and the ways you want your partner to show up for you.
Life is hard. Luckily, you’ll get to experience that with your partner. This is a big responsibility because it means that you have empathize with your partner and support them when they’re going through a tough experience.
Plus, you two get to talk through the ways your childhoods still impacts you. No matter how much the two of you have in common, your childhoods will still be very different. So, empathy is a huge part of creating a healthy relationship for both of you.
6. Shared interests
As different as the two of you are, you have a lot in common. It’s likely what brought you together and it gives you the opportunity to stay together.
Find activities and hobbies both of you enjoy and make them into dates. It’s important to find ways to connect that deepen your friendship alongside your romance. So, talk to your partner and figure out what activity the two of you want to do together.
Remember, you don’t have to spend money. You can go for a hike or start your own tiny book club.
Enjoy the moments that make you laugh. You should find your partner funny, or, at the very least, find lots of moments to laugh just by being around them.
You will inevitably notice their quirks, and you get to laugh with them. It’s important to have serious conversations, but it’s also really important to be able to laugh and have fun.
Keep in mind that this person will be in your life for a long time. So, you should be able to laugh with the person that you’ll spend the majority of your time with.
You feel close to your partner, both emotionally and physically. This looks like talking to your partner, listening, and being vulnerable. Share your emotions with them freely and trust that you can do that.
Physical intimacy means the two of you have a satisfying sex life that you both enjoy. It also means you hug, kiss, and cuddle with comfort. Not to mention, you can talk openly about your sex life, so that you can explore and improve upon your pleasure.
You argue and you should. As funny as it sounds, conflict isn’t a problem on its own. It’s natural and it’s a good indication of how you relationship operates overall.
Compromise is a huge part of that because it shows that you’re willing to find middle ground with your partner to keep your relationship working. You’re finding a way to meet in the middle rather than insist on your perspective.
Both you and your partner should either be comfortable with compromise or working on getting more comfortable with it.
There might be things you can’t forgive. And, honestly, there’s no reason for you to change those beliefs as long as they work for you. However, when you want to stay in a relationship and keep it healthy, you will have to learn to let go of the small things.
Or maybe things that aren’t so small. It’s all about learning from mistakes, both on your side and your partner’s side. People make mistakes, even if they didn’t feel like mistakes in the moment.
Maybe they forget your birthday because they got too caught up with work and they realize their error. Or they forgot to pick up the takeout on their way home.
Communicate about the mistakes and tell them what’s up. Give them a chance to be accountable. From there, you have to forgive them if you want to stay in that relationship.
Relationships take work. That work makes them worth it because you grow as a couple and an individual. Anything worth doing takes effort, even if that’s resting.
So, acknowledge all of the effort you put in and your partner puts in. It’s easy to focus on all of the ways you need to improve your relationship, but you also deserve appreciation.
Once you both have established that you’re in it and you’re invested, you’re halfway there. Everything will take practice and time, and it gets hard when neither of you acknowledge the strengths you see in each other and your relationship.
You and your partner are equals. Both of you feel valued in the relationship and you both have a say. This might mean you talk about financial decisions, you talk about major milestones, and anything other issues within your relationship.
Equality can look different depending on your culture. But, what matters it that you know your partner values you and you value them. Whatever else comes from that will be equality, or, at the very least, an issue you feel comfortable bring up with them.
Neither of you is perfect and that’s good. That means you both have room to grow and will continue learning how to better partners to each others.
That also means you need to give yourself and your partner space to grow. Along with forgiveness, you need to patient with yourself and your partner. Both of you bring history and your childhoods to your relationship.
You both have seen examples of relationships in your life and they may or may not have taught you healthy values. Keep this in mind as you both work on unlearning the harmful stuff.
You accept each other as you are. While the two of you will definitely grow and learn, you should never expect your partner to change something about themselves to worthy. You and your partner are worthy of love as you are.
If that doesn’t feel accurate, then you may not be in the right relationship. It’s normal to be in love with someone and realize they are not perfect for you. No one is perfect for anyone else. It’s about being in the right place, as an individual, to accept someone else.
Keep in mind that this never applies to abusive relationships. If you’re wondering whether you’re in an abusive relationship, ask yourself if you feel accepted by your partner. Think of examples where they’ve shown you they accept you.
(You can still be in an abusive relationship even if your partner appears to accept you.)
15. Shared values
You and your partner share the values that are non-negotiable to you. Everyone has different standards for how much their partner can differ from them. However, it’s important to talk about life goals and the principles you live by so that the information is at least known.
Consider what matters to you and ask yourself if those same issues matter to your partner or if they agree with you on those issues. Disagreeing about pineapple on pizza is much different than disagreeing on whether you want to get married or have kids.
Have these conversations early to know whether your relationship can last as long as you want it to with both parties happy.